The Silent Smirks and all the Little Jokes I’ve Shared Secretly
Constantly Nagging for Your Attention..and You Always Gave All That and More
The Weird Questions You Entertained without Giving a Cold Stare
Every Time my Heart Smiled, You Were There to Make it Glow
All The Soundless Sighs You’ve Heard
A Strange Sense of Peace and Calmness Enters My Mind
A Soothing My Soul Has Always Yearned for
If Only That Feeling Could Exist Forever and Forever
No One Understands Me Better than You
You’ve Seen It All..
Every Time I Cried ..
Sometimes for Absolutely No Reason Maybe, Every Single Complain I made, I Didn’t have to Think Twice Before Running Towards You, Coz You were Always there..I Have beenUngrateful..Yes, I Acknowledge that
There Were Countless Words I Never Uttered For Your Sake…
Every Time I Gulped Down A Large Chunk Of Anger..It Was For You and You Alone
There Were Infinite Moments When I Could’ve Hit Back With a Bricks of Words but Never Did..That Was Also for Your Sake Alone!
Every Time I Knew I Was Right But Accepted A Silent Defeat To Let Things Heal And Not Break.Im Sure You Must Have Seen That Too..
I Gave Up Many Many Things to make Sure My Relationship With You Doesn’t Get Hampered Or Broken Or Fractured Coz Things Were Fragile From My End In A Relationship Which Was Meant To Be Strong From The Word Go
The Hidden Voice In Me Wanted To Scream For Every Soul To Hear But I Didn’t Do It Fearing You May Not Like It..Your Acceptance Became More Important To Me Than My Own Ego
And So The Silence…
Because I Wanted To Be In That Elite Company..The Chosen Few Who Have The Privilege To Stay Close To You..I Wanted That Desperately..And I Still Do..Attention Seeker people Might say..maybe YES!
There Are Some Memories I Try so Hard Erase so that I can Be Next to You With a Guilt Free Mind and Heart
Why Sacrifice So Much for Someone Else, One May Ask..
Because You were Always THERE…There Were Many Untold Stories You Listened To..The Climax And The Last Line Even Before It Started…
Many Little Letters of Joy, Happiness, Sorrow, Laughter and Naughtiness All Bundled up Together..U Read It Even Before I Finished Typing Them..
Patience Was A Bitter Pill to Swallow..But I Yearned for A Closeness Which Only Few Could Master…A Closeness to be Next to You..
To Smile Like Nothing Happened was tough..To Act Brave When Everything Was Crumbling on the Inside And On the Outside was Never Easy…I Smiled to Keep Others Happy..Whose Happiness In Turn Would Have made You Pleased with Me…It was Done Just to Please You and a Feeling to Be Close to You..
It Aint Easy But I Don’t Wanna Quit!!
This Life Is A Test And Is Shorter Than A Blinking Of An Eye..You Promised!
Its Finally Reached A Stage Where I Feel Strange…A Strange Sense of Calmness..with Everything Happening around… A Strange Sense Of Peace… A Sense where Every thing Around Me Says…”U Own Nothing..U Came With Nothing..U Leave With Nothing..No People, No Richness..All You Have Left In You Is Piety And Good Deeds And The Silent Words That Were Never Uttered Which Would Also Be Rewarded.”
Its Reached A Stage..Where All I Want Is Your Love, Your Mercy Your Acceptance, Your Pleasure, Your Gift Which You’ve Promised To Reward… although I’m Quite Undeserving of it, I Know!
And How’s The Feeling?! Exhilarating..Liberation Of The Purest and Truest Kind.. Unfathomable…The Peace Is Limitless…All Those Words Seem So Little..The Actions Of Dear Ones Seem So Little Now…So Irrelevant..
Its Liberation Of An Amazing Kind..
Its Reached A Stage Where I Use A Word Which A Slave Should be Using…Use Words That Are Befitting To Be Addressed To A Master.. Yes I Call You My Rabb, My Master, My Cherisher, My Sustainer, The One Mighty Of Honour And Power..Yes..I Call You MY Rabb, MY LORD..MY VERY OWN…With Extreme Reverence and Extreme Amounts of Possessiveness Attached To It..Coz I Know You’re Mine As Much As You Pour Your Love Out And Call Me, “Your Slave.” You do That so Many times in a Book called Quran You’ve gifted Me with it.. You use a special word of love every time you want me to come closer to You, You say “Oh My Slave..!!”
Just as special as it would be when a parent calls his/her child “Oh My Child” rather that calling out the child’s name..the Love is There for everyone to see..and your Love encompasses all of that!
Its Reached a Stage Where I Want to Share Smiles And Happiness With Your Slaves
The Silent Tear.. A Non Existent Fear… A Leap Only My Heart Can Experience..A Twinkle That Spreads In My Eye: Now Those Special Moments.. I Want To Share Only With You Ya Rabb, The Lord Of The Heavens And The Earth And All That’s In Between. Only with You… because some feelings are extraordinary and no amount of words can do justice to them..but You understand them even before I whisper!
You Said Today When I Was Reading Your Book After Fajr, “…there is nothing for man except that which he strives for, and that his striving will be seen, then he will be rewarded with a full reward,
And that towards your Fosterer is the ultimate goal,
And that it is He who makes you laugh and makes you weep,
And that it is He who causes death and gives life… (53: 39-44)”
And that He gives richness and satisfaction…
And that He is the Fosterer of the star Sirius (53: 48-49)..
So which of the bounties of your Fosterer will you dispute about? (53: 55)
So wait patiently for the command of your Fosterer, for you are certainly before Our Eyes. (52:48)
…You are my Rabb, my Lord, MY VERY OWN! =)