My heart beats vehemently against my chest, almost ripping my ribs apart..
Breathing gets heavier and I look around to see everything happening in a jiffy..
So many people all at once, hustling and bustling as I look forward to spot my train which is yet to come amidst the confusion, noise and drama
Whilst I’m waiting for the train to arrive and given my very rare train travelling experiences, I keep looking on at others around me, trying to figure out how they don’t get bored or irritated with the noises and buzzes around them…
I don’t know what my heart was beating so fervently for..there was no rush, no hurry, no nothing..everything and everyone around me were calm except my heart..my mind was as usual ignorant and trying to make my inner self feel stupid…there are times when I wish my mind would just shut up and allow me to “feel” but I guess it’s a huge blessing to stay emotionally disconnected rather than letting your heart break into pieces many times over in this deceptive world..
A flight of steps to take me up and down..one baggage to carry..and then comes the strange thoughts that keeps me hooked for the next one hour
A strange analogy envelops me in a matter of seconds..sometimes its interesting to think your mind can think so much in a matter of seconds, process everything and still make sense..
I have no idea why my mind connected a normal railway station with that of the Day of Judgment but this is what followed inside my already tangled up brain
With every heart beat, blood rushing though my veins, I could almost feel my ears throbbing underneath..
Has my heart finally realized its going to meet its Creator? Is it leaping with joy or fear I wonder?
With my eyebrows sparkling with sweat..
Each drop fears a reprimand maybe? The time has come after all for this soul to meet its end, depart from this motionless body and unravel the final abode all alone..probably its even cursing the actions of the limbs for letting it suffer all alone? Will it pass the test or fail forever?
One bag of clothes seemed too heavy for my hands to carry…although I had to carry it just for a few minutes…
How would I carry my burdens of sins and deeds (good or bad) on the D-day ..without a helping hand of course…
Would it be heavy with good deeds making the entire process a pleasure or would it be filled with deeds that would fill me with remorse and misery..
So many faces around me doing the stuff they are supposed to do..
Would it be the same on the D day when I would stare at the whole of mankind, with emotions of fear mixed with anger and intense hatred that would eat every single sense and thought of mine from within..would it be a day when I would regret listening to some people or remaining silent in places where I should have opened my mouth and defended something..its a day when everything will be taken into account, right? Even my intentions…something I whispered to myself and I though only I knew…. whereas the two recording angels on either side were not missing out on a single letter that is being typed or spoken, even right now?
The city looks so familiar yet so strange
Would the Big Day also carry the same atmosphere…
Earth..the same planet on which I’ve walked all my life..would it appear familiar yet painstakingly strange
People rush to catch up their places even though the seats have already been pre booked for them
I wonder if mankind would rush or be forced to rush in the same manner on the D-Day to see which way their seats are headed: hellfire or paradise..eternal gloom or eternal bliss?
Minutes, days and sometimes even months of preparation goes into planning while travelling to another city or country
How much have I planned for my ultimate journey..the seats have already been booked..the tickets confirmed..its just waiting to happen..and I don’t even know the departure date..it could be centuries later from now or even the very next second..what have I packed for this journey? How much have I planned?
Choosing the best clothes, accessories … check my check list..check and re check
Have I chosen the best deeds to be presented tomorrow and be proud of having them written against my name? What if some important deeds were not packed..because of missed chances or misused chances..how much would I miss that on the Day of Judgement? I wonder why my planning is so sloppy and heedless for this ultimate journey!!
Medicines packed just in case I fall sick..even though you would easily get medicines in whichever corner of the globe you go to
What about medicines for the hereafter? Why medicines… some might wonder..
Well, what’s gonna save our wounds, physical and mental scars of our sins on the D-Day..
The ultimate medicine: Salah (prayer)..the best antidote for any type of sin in your heart big or small…
Prayer..Guard your prayer. Our ultimate medicine when nothing else would come to our rescue..
SALAH: The first deed that is going to be judged …the first chapter in our book of deeds that would be read out..if found incomplete the entire book would be closed..it wouldn’t matter how much money I gave for charity or how helpful I was or how many masjids I built…prayer incomplete..the entire book of deeds has no value and will be shut right in front of my face…leaving my soul to be dealt with His mercy or would it be His wrath?!
This soul is being poisoned with sins..an antidote called prayer only takes five to ten minutes of this so called “busy” schedule to rinse the soul and make it appear like a sparkling white piece of cloth..why the delay… why the causal “I missed it”?
The train departs..the trees disappear…everything seems insignificant
And my thoughts about the Day of Judgement became blurred too…snapped back into this deceptive world..but I really wonder..have I prepared for this ultimate journey..what would the luggage be like..would I be pleased to meet Him and more importantly, would He?